Give yourself a pat on the back. In fact, after doing so grab your spouse and head out to do something spontaneous. You both deserve it! You’ve survived 5 years of marriage and are still going strong. Cheers to you my friends! We often hear how the first year of marriage can be challenging and full of twists and turns. Many times what’s left out is, what happens after you conquer year one and move into the years that follow.
So, let’s take a look at 5 creative ways to boost intimacy after a few years of marriage.
Settling into a marriage routine is great. You know your mate’s strengths and weaknesses, and have found a groove that works for you both. He knows when to give you some space, and you know when to fall back and let him watch the game. It works because you’ve both committed to making it do just that. In finding that comfortable place, some of the fire may have fizzled out, and the moments of intimacy are far and few between. Abundant love is there of course, however life is in charge and finding time is now something that needs to be penciled in–Scheduling intimacy. Yes, for some couples this is an absolute reality.
As my husband and I approach 6 years of marriage, we’ve come to realize a few things. Marriage is 100% about give and take. With so much being taken from us through our parenting responsibilities, businesses, and just living life, we have to remember to give ourselves the time and space we need to reconnect.
1. Spontaneity Rules
That’s right! Don’t plan. Just get up and go! Check out a new restaurant or stage play. Hit up the arcade after hours. Go out dancing. Take a hike. Go book store hopping. Go to the store and try on clothes even if you don’t plan to buy them. The point here is that the possibilities are endless. Find something new and out of the ordinary to get into. Call the baby sitter (if you have little ones like my husband and I do) and hit the streets.
2. The Groupon Getaway
I have to admit, I am completely enamored with Groupon and all of the great deals they have available regularly. I look there for almost everything. When looking for an awesome getaway, this money saving site is full of near and far destinations perfect for those who may be traveling on a budget. Take advantage of that getaway to delve deeper into loving and learning your spouse. Talk about everything under the sun. Hold hands while walking and talking. Smile, wink, and flirt! You’ll be sure to make that experience one to remember, and one that will rekindle the flame for a long time coming.
3. Massage Please
You know your spouse’s hot spots. Shake the normal routine, and massage every spot on their body except those hot spots! Warm the massage oil, and let your hands do the rest. Feeling adventurous? Making your own massage butter is sure to be a winner. No further guidance needed, right?
4. Dinner for Two
Get your babysitter on deck to take the kids for a few hours, and have a quiet evening at home. You and the hubs head into the kitchen and prepare an intimate meal for two. Cook your favorite meal and follow it up with one of these decadent deserts from Real Simple. Dim the lights while eating, light a few candles, and play some tunes that are sure to get the emotions flowing.
5. Netflix and…
Cozy up on the sofa with your tablet or laptop, grab your favorite drink, and watch a movie together. The key here is to share earbuds and enjoy the closeness of one another while watching the show. You’ll enjoy the smell of his cologne and he’ll be caught up in playing with your hair. You get my drift here. Chances are, you two won’t make it to the end of the movie as you’ll be occupied with other activities.
Go ahead and turn it up a notch. Put some or all of these pointers into action. I think you’ll be pleased with the results. I’ll see you all at 10 years!
Watch Long Term Marriage With No Intimacy
About the Author: Asiyah Muhsin-Thomas is a wife & mother of 5, entrepreneur x4, and self-published children’s book author. She writes about her experiences in motherhood and shares the day to day happenings in her life on her blog MamasNinnieMilk.com