How Can Sisters Protect Themselves from Church Players? Have you ever dated a church player? You know, the self-proclaimed Christian man who is always active in the church and highly respected by members of the congregation. Yes, that man! He’s the one that manipulates you with religious clichés like, “God said you’re my wife,” and “you’re my good thing.” They make you feel like they want to marry you, but have no intention of settling down with you. They’re after one thing, and once they get it, they’ll use more scriptures to justify why you need to break up!
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Dr. Aesha Adams Roberts writes that this self-proclaimed Christian man is manipulating the double-standard that exists in churches. Women are told to “act like a lady,” “stay out of the flesh,” and “keep your legs closed.” Then, when a man succeeds in melting her defenses and leaves her without the ring, she is shamed, blamed and humiliated.
The pain is so great for a woman who has been hurt by a church player that she tends to tighten up her belt of righteousness, build up walls around her heart, and focus solely on her faith. These women struggle with dating because they’re afraid of getting hurt again.
Why does this happen in our churches which are supposed to be safe places for us?
So what’s the solution? How can sisters protect themselves from church players without becoming so defensive that they shut all men out of their lives?