The Real Reasons Black Women Can’t Find Good Black Men-
We’ve heard the same sob story over and over. Black women can’t find good black men. The woman complains that all the black men in her city are under educated, jobless, locked up, married, or gay. So she can’t find a good black man to save her life.
There are endless excuses women use as reasons they don’t have or can’t find a good black man. But the real reason could simply be that black women don’t really want a good black man. At least not when the black woman is at her peak of desirability in her early to mid twenties. During this time, she knows she can demand the attention of many men and it’s up to her to make better choices in the man she chooses to date. So let’s debunk the myth about the lack of quality black men. It’s not that you can’t find a good black man; it’s that you really don’t want one.
That’s right! Far too many women are chasing their ideal Alpha Male and have constructed a checklist of qualities they desire in a man. (Income, height, build, type of car, street cred, swag, and penis size). How often have you heard a black woman say, “I want me a real Nigga.” “I need a man that can handle me.” Well, don’t be surprised when you get what you ask for. Women overlook relationships with the average guy and tend to waste time in relationships with men that satisfy their checklist. It should come as no surprise to the woman when these type of men turn out to be lying, cheating dogs that only wanted to get between your thighs, act like a real nigga and handle you, whatever that means, then decide to move on to a new flame after only a few weeks of sex. Once a black woman has been used and abused by the bad boy Alpha male, men in her community may no longer find her desirable. Now, the woman is left wondering what went wrong and ends up lying to protect her self-worth.
Lying to Protect Her Self-Worth: In a society where not having a man is like having the plague, women are being deceitful and looking for any excuse to justify reasons they can’t find a good man. With their self-worth at stake, women are constantly comparing relationship status with the next woman. So as a woman, what does it matter if your business card says C.E.O.? What does the amount you have in your bank account matter? And what does the type of car you drive matter? In the end, you’re all alone and society sees you and your situation as a problem, because if you’re not in a relationship, then you’re not equal to the women who are.
The vicious form of competition between black women causes many of them to create lies about actually loving the single life. No matter what excuse you share as a reason your search for and ability to keep a good man isn’t working, you know the truth, that you’re not happy being single.
You’re not all that anyway: Because of a society that often ostracizes a woman who doesn’t have a man in her life, the woman may feel that the world has proof that she’s not all that she thinks she is and in turn, she may develop a defense mechanism to protect her ego. This ego defense mechanism if used repeatedly after each failed relationship or prior to entering a new relationship, will indeed morph into a behavior that adversely affects the woman’s mental and physical behavior. Result: A huge turn off to most good men. Not convinced, then just take a look at the women on some of these reality TV shows.
This is all I see today.