Dr. Joseph Handsome: Is Social Media’s Disturbing Trend Ruining Relationships? There is a disturbing trend in social media and society in general in regards to relationships. On social media I see all the posts about I deserve someone who will …. (fill in the blank). I will not except…. (fill in the blank). If a person does not… then … (fill in the blank). Team single (whatever).
I grew up with both parents and my grandparents lived next door. Both my parents and grandparents were married until the day my father and grandfather died. I can tell you with 100% certainty that those marriages were a partnership. It was not about how much life you can drain out of the other person or how many mind games you could play to get the person to do what you want or about how you can transform someone into your ideal mate (or puppet) or how much of a VIP they captured.
It was two flawed people who loved each other that tried to make ends meet the best way they could. Now, TV and social media have turned relationships upside down and sideways. Gone or the days of the Cosby show (current events aside). Now is the time of the Real Housewives of wherever and Hip Hop House wives. Oddly, few if any of these people are actually married. Gone are the times where you readily see positive outcomes from doing positive things. Now, it is argue, fuss, fight until your mate does what you want them to do or they leave.
Here are some trending examples for you to ponder, courtesy of Huffingtonpost:
Curious partners snoop their way into uncovering cheating spouses who reconnected with their high school sweethearts thanks to Facebook. Politicians sending crotch shots to strangers, mangling their careers and their marriages in one fell swoop.
Custody, alimony, and all sorts of other details of a divorce can be tied to what is posted online. It does not fare well for a custody argument when a person’s supposed to be with the kids but instead they’re tagged in Facebook pictures slamming shots in Vegas.
Boasting about a new car and flashy lifestyle on Twitter does not bode well for the “I swear I’m broke. I need alimony, your Honor” stance. Even the innocuous can be detrimental.
Kid not properly bucked in his carseat in that Instagram post? Does it matter that they weren’t moving and two seconds after the picture was taken the parent fixed the buckle? It certainly doesn’t to a spouse’s attorney when she argues that they’re an unfit parent who doesn’t care about a child’s safety.
Then it is “team single”. In my opinion, people need to look back to the golden age of R&B. A time before this let’s get high, party, and have sex crap that is drowning our air waves. Look back at Stephanie Mills who said she needs the comfort of a man or Teddy Pendergrass who sang about romance and love. When I read this overwhelmingly negative trend of give everything to me while I sit back and do absolutely nothing but receive, I’m disgusted.
Without going too deep into this phenomenon, I’m going to simply say, “What makes you so special?” Agree with me or disagree with me, but life is a two way street where both parties sacrifice and bring something to the table. But then again, it is always easy to sit on your butt and blame the other guy….
Live, Love, Laugh.
About the author:
Dr. Joseph Handsome earned his PhD in Management Information Systems from Walden University. He is Sr. Technical Director at AT&T, managing a global team. In his spare time, Joe is also a private pilot.