Dave Chappelle’s opening monologue on “Saturday Night Live” was his long awaited return to TV and the comedian returned with his comedic genius. On the heels of America electing Donald Trump as its next president, Chappelle unloading a bit of humor while discussing the aspects of racism in America.
Here’s some of the monologue and the entire video below:
Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you again. You know, been a long time. It’s been a long time. So please be patient.
You know, I didn’t know that Donald Trump was going to win the election. I did suspect it. It seemed like Hillary was doing well in the polls and yet — I know the whites. You guys aren’t as full of surprises as you used to be. And I think I speak for all of black America when I say that we are all praying for Omarosa. I don’t even know what she’s doing in the news.
But America’s done it. We’ve actually elected an Internet troll as our president.
The whites were furious. I’ve never seen anything like it. I haven’t seen whites this mad since the O.J. verdict. White people screaming on both sides, “Aahhh!”
I’m not saying I’m enjoying it — I’m just saying I’ve never seen this before. I watched a white riot in Portland, Ore., on television the other night. News said they did a million dollars’ worth of damage. Every black person was watching that like, “amateurs.”
So I’m staying out of it. I’m just going to take a knee like Kaepernick and let the whites figure this out among themselves. Know what I mean? We’ve been here before, we’ve been here before.
And I don’t even think it’s the most important thing we’re dealing with. Don’t forget. Don’t forget all the things that are going on. Shootings. What you think about that? All these shootings in the last year. The worst mass shootings in the history of the United States. Pulse Nightclub, which they said ISIS did, and it turned out that wasn’t exactly what happened.
If that is what happened, then ISIS is scarier than I thought, because they have very deep cover operatives. “Look out I’m going out deep for this one, I might have to get a Grindr account, and j— a few guys off, to throw them off the trail.”
I don’t think the guy was in ISIS. What happened was he pledged allegiance to ISIS before he did what he did, which is not the same as being in ISIS, you know what I mean? Like, if I was going to have sex with a girl (and) right before I did, I screamed out “Wu-Tang!” — that don’t mean I’m in the Wu-Tang Clan. I’m just shouting Wu-Tang out.
There’s more shootings than I can literally count. You can’t even go to the goddamn zoo without seeing a shooting out there. They shot a gorilla at my local zoo. And the Cincinnati Police said “Shooting that gorilla was the toughest decision this department has ever had to make.” I said, “Well, you about to see a lot of n—– in gorilla costumes in Cincinnati.”
Why do we have to say that? Why do we have to say that black lives matter? Now I admit that is not the best slogan, but McDonald’s already took, “You deserve a break today.”